The dark day..

why do we always seem to blog about the sad part of our life more than the happy ones? Life is complicated, cliche i know..
Another sad chapter happened to me just today.. I dont want to gve full details about it.. I wanted to, but i know it wont change a thing..

'if u think u have given me so much leeway all tis while, u havent actually'

I miss being happy

Now whats left of me is just lonliness.. Im not really a holy person but atleast i know what not to do.. Im stubborn but i still know when to give up and to forgive (well, at least i try..)
You would say youre forgetful, but are you being forgetful when u intentionally hide things away coz your mindset tells u that am ALWAYS negative? Are u being equal when we were fightin, u met a random person the next day? Are u being equal when u promised not to do things i dislike but when we fight u doing it? are u being equal when u treated me like a piece of trash? Are u being equal when am at right, u still wont let yourself lose coz its your 'defence mechanism' and i have to get over it? Are u being equal when am trying to be civil and mengalah but u knock me down over and over again instead?

Thank you?

I dont need nobody to judge me. Its funny when u think i always knock you down when we quarrel.
Just admit your wrong and explain it civily.who put more fuel in the fire? If we know that we are at wrong, so dont be too stubborn to say SORRY! Maybe u dont realise that YOU also knock me down at times.so what do u undestand by 'equality' then??

Just a thought

i can not tolerate people who cheat.. But humanly speakin i sometimes think white lie is needed. But not always. I mean, when u think u can speak the truth, just spill it. Dont excuse your forgetfulness to save yourself out of troubles.. Then that will become an absolute lie..
And when you quarrel, dont always think that your partner is afraid that you're cheating.. Sometimes all they want is just purely your explainations on related matters and them being insecured and paranoid that youre being dishonest (note this down, honesty is one of the ingredients needed in love) so logically, dishonesty = less lovesparks = break up.
So you dont expect your partner to 'chill' when this happens. Perhaps what u must do is to convince them that u love em.. Its a very 'Simple' solution yet due to stubborness and the desire to always be the victor, aint no all people wise enough can do this.

last but not least

How would it feel to be knocked down when all u want is just a simple apology? How would you feel to be given an option when initially back in the past you already told that person that you were taken but he/she still insisted to accept that fact and wanted to give it a try? How would you react when you found out he/she did somethin bad behind your back? How would you react when he/she always think that you think he/she hadnt done anythin for you when all u want is just appreciation? How would you feel when sometimes eventhough youre at right side but he/she wouldnt want to admit it but to win it instead?

Love is really complicated..


Selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa..

mixed feelings.

Life is full of unexpected surprises, indeed. For the past few months, i thought i would never get employed but i was wrong.. In just a blink ov eye, im officially a working man now. Been working approximately 20days already. I should not complain but since its my first time working experience, it really is hard to get used to the working ambience, the staff and i hafta reschedule everyting includin my bed time, eating time etc. And that explains why you cant find me on msn. Sorry if u guys feel neglected. Am just so busy w work.
Anyhoo, eventhough i kinda like this job ov mine, i hafta admit, sometimes it sucks to be in the service industry especially if u happen to meet cranky psychotic customers who think they know shits and get mad at you for no good reasons *sighs* but really, i realise this kinda job can definitely help u in managing your anger. Huhu. right~
i didnt get the chance to hang out w any ov my friends since i start working so again, pardon me for that also.. oh oh.. I love my colleagues!they are so fun and bitchy~~ huhu some ov them only though.
Enough w the happy bits. Mmm i feel so down tonight. Feel sorta inappreciated to be exact. Mmm oh well, i think i should just sleep it off. Will update again when i have time~ tc.

somehow i will

I needed a dream when it all seems to go bad..
I needed a dream, to make me strong..
U were my dream.. But now ... I just need a miracle..